How To Cope With People Who Are Controlling

Dr. Les Parrott in his book ‘The Control Freak’ defines Control Freaks as people who care more than you do about something and will not stop at being pushy to get their way. They could be manipulative, self-centered, or power hungry people who always want to have their way. Control Freaks come in all forms, shapes and sizes.

They could be militant dictators, prime ministers, bosses, colleagues, spouses, bosses, parents etc.

Below you will find some tips on various ways of dealing with such a character. We should remember that it is perfectly natural to feel the need to control our surroundings and to a certain extent the people we have relationships with. There are situations where control needs to be exercised in moderation or we become branded as irresponsible individuals. It is also possible to achieve a constructive and healthy balance on several issues; when you are open to healthy discussions, debates, ideas rather than ‘IT’S MY WAY OR NEVER!’

Here are just some of the characteristics of control freaks:

  • Constantly worrying over nothing.
  • Live a life of fear and self-denial.
  • They rarely think they are wrong
  • Demonstrate extreme jealousy and have possessive characters.
  • Are gifted in the art of emotional blackmail.

The aim is to suggest a few ways of dealing with the control freaks you come across in your daily lives. Most of them are unhappy and insecure people who do not understand how their words and actions affect people. I hope you find the few tips helpful.

  • Behave consistently calm and patient with them. Getting angry does not work.
  • If it is a personal relationship and it has become abusive, move on in your life.
  • Create friendly banter/humor.
  • Make your decisions and stand by them.
  • Stay focused on your job, health and other important things that concern you.
  • Show a bit of assertiveness in your dealings with them.
  • Express yourself clearly and constructively stating how you feel about a particular event. Make sure you keep it simple and avoid arguing.
  • Build your self-esteem.
  • Always remain confident in your approach.
  • Work on your vulnerability.