Chachamim write in the holy books that prior to a person’s birth in the world, he was part of one soul. Forty days prior to conception, Hashem took that one soul in His hands and split it into two pieces. The work of finding our soul mate is finding our missing half. But how do we find our other half?
We have to first begin by perfecting our own half. In other words, we have to really know ourselves and be the best “half” we can possibly be. Every person is meant to have a soul mate, that is not a debate. The question is: are you where you need to be to find him/her? Are you recognizable to him/her?
As for the “guarantee,” we all want – one of the most powerful things about being in a relationship is that there are no guarantees. Faith and trust are such huge components in a marriage for this very reason. This is why our Rabbis compare the love between a man and his wife to a fire. Fire is not static or calm, nor is it certain. It is not meant to be. That is the beauty of a committed relationship – it’s when you allow someone into the most vulnerable and hidden places of your heart trusting your emotions will be well received.
The Gemara of Ketuvot states that there are three partners in a marriage: the husband, the wife and Hashem. Until we meet our soulmate, it’s merely two partners – us and Hashem. This applies to that relationship as well. Since Hashem does not generally provide us with a bird’s eye view of His plans, we need to constantly bolster our relationship with faith and trust. We need to trust in our depths that He is guiding our steps towards our ultimate purpose, towards the “completion” of our soul.
Another strong component in marriage is communication. Communication is the essential ingredient to every healthy relationship. Since we are preparing to meet our life partner, it’s important to practice communicating with our other partner, Hashem. We turn to him in our prayers as a form of communication.
Every person has “someone” out there who belongs to them and who is searching for them. We have to try to be the best half-soul we can possibly be and then G‑d willing, our steps will be guided towards the one that was meant for us sooner than later.