Dating: “A Question Of Compromise”

Compromising is undoubtedly the key to many problems we face. We are so set in our ways that only our way will do. Therefore there arises the great problem in dating and relationships. If only we could compromise, then we would be better placed to find common ground and work things out. I often hear people saying that they will never compromise on who they would choose to date, what their standards are, what is acceptable for a partner and so on. This is saddening because no one is perfect. Why do we opt to be choosey and demanding? The danger in this is that one could remain single for a long time yet and unhappy in their personal lives because they adapt an attitude of rigidity.

Some people detest the idea of having to compromise. After all, for some, compromising means they may have had some tough relationships and tough times with people. “Why should I compromise? It is my life after all.” This is a very good argument. You do not have to compromise at all. The problem will then arise in building relationships with new people. Sometimes we produce high standards for prospective partners even though in reality there is no perfection. Exactly how perfect in every way are we? Let us examine some of the compromises we may encounter when dating:

1. Compromise On Perfection
Often, we have the perfect image of someone in our head, not only concerning the outer appearance. Because many have been influenced by the secular world, there is an image built up from dreams, “novels,” and the like. But life and people are not perfect. We should try not to set rigid rules about those we date. There is no one who sees a person the same after ten years as the way they saw them the first 5 minutes they met. As we learn about someone our perspective changes. This does not mean that we love any less, but we compromise and begin to accept people with their imperfections.

2. Compromise In Relationships
Being in a relationship means, being a team. It means listening to both sides of a case, both points of view. The word ‘relationship’ implies compromise. It is not meant to be a power struggle. If we are not willing to compromise in a relationship, then we should ask ourselves why we are with that person. Our partners do not exist purely as part of our own support system. They have their own needs too.

3. Compromise On The Little Things
It is always the little things that are the most important. It may be the smallest of things that matter to a person. To the other partner, these things may appear petty and insignificant. The point is they do matter and both partners should ensure they listen to their partner and learn what is important to them and what is not. We should try and keep an eye out for the little things in life. We may have to compromise our own routines to include them, but that is a small price to pay for happiness and love.

4. Compromise On The Outcome
Compromise on your view of the future by being open minded. You may believe that true happiness occurs when you have built a mansion together and are sailing the seven seas on your extravagant yacht. But this is only a materialistic dream that not everyone shares, especially if your partner is looking for a satisfying spiritual life. Realistic and meaningful ambitions, goals and the future should be a shared vision from early on if it is truly to work. You need to find out if you are compatible from the onset.