(Adapted From Aish Ha’Torah Series & Edited With Additions By Rabanit K. Sarah Cohen)
Focus on what you can do:
Don’t get caught up in the blame game with your spouse or your kids: “If he would be nicer, I would be nicer!” “The kids are impossible!” Focus on what you can do. This saying is very true: “We can change other people’s behavior by changing our own.”
Reduce the drama
Reduce any drama that’s being generated. Some people have a tendency to display theatrics and say out loud things like:
“I can’t stand the mess!”
“I just can’t handle these kids!”
“I am such a bad mother!”
This is a shortcoming and coming from a place of insecurity within you. Start checking yourself and try to come up with some better statements like:
“Messes are just a part of having a family. Eventually, it will get cleaned up. Baruch Hashem there’s a healthy mess.”
“My kids are Baruch Hashem, normal and lively. Sometimes it can be hard but I will manage.”
“I’m having a tough time now and I’m usually more patient. I guess I just need a break and I know I’ll feel better…”
Becoming aware of our drama and insecurities, and consciously making the switch can make all the difference in the world for you and your family.
Show Some Appreciation
One of the simplest things that you can do to create a more positive environment in your home is to thank your family members for anything and everything:
“Thank you so much for sweeping!”
“I love your enthusiasm! Thank you for keeping this home energized!”
“Thank you for that hug! That made me feel good!”
“I love reading with you at bedtime.”
Children Should Hear Your Positive Words
Quite often we have a tendency to complain to our spouses about our kids. This also breeds negativity. There’s a time and place for your concerns. However, for every negative complaint, try to add two positive statements. And situate yourself in a place where your child can overhear you:
- “You should have seen Shmuel today! He shared his toy with the baby!”
- “Sarah was so nice to Rivkah today. She shared her snack.”
- “I couldn’t have managed in the kitchen today without Leah’s help!”
Stay Tuned For Part 2…
