Many mothers want to know if giving a gift on Chanukah is a Jewish custom. The answer is not going to be so direct. The first thing you should know is that there is no biblical or Talmudic roots to the concept of giving gifts on Chanukah of any kind. This is something that we have adapted from the secular world because quite often, Christmas and Chanukah always coincide.
There is, however, an age-old custom to give money to children on Chanukah. Why? Because we want to teach them to be charitable. Some of that money that you give your children should be given away to tzedakah by your children. We want to educate our kids to use their money not only to make themselves happy on the chag but also to provide for those who are less fortunate. The education of our children, the chinuch ha’yeladim is the foundation of what we celebrate on Chanukah. Chanukah comes from the word chinuch. In order to understand the idea of us giving our kids the gift of money on Chanukah – we need to understand the meaning of why we even celebrate on Chanukah…
The Greeks, unlike the Persians in the story of Purim, were not out to annihilate the Jewish people through the destruction of our bodies. Haman wanted to physically wipe us off the face of the earth. But the Greeks had a different agenda. They did not want our bodies; they did not want us to die. The Greeks were after our souls. Their aim was to elevate the importance of physical matter over spirituality and to defile our belief in the Oneness of Hashem. They wanted us to banish the concept of the Divine, to abolish the study of Torah and to become Hellenists.
So, the battle we fought in the story of Chanukah was not just physical, it was also very spiritual. In order to defy the Greeks and emerge victorious, we needed to re-educate ourselves and strengthen our resolve in the learning of Torah and mitzvot…
We learned that the word, “Chanukah,” shares a root with the word, “chinuch,” which means, “to educate.” Education, especially the education of children, is the foundation of what we celebrate on Chanukah.
The Rambam (a”h) writes that we have to provide our children with an incentive to want to learn Torah. He suggests that a child should be given “walnuts, figs and honey” so that his learning becomes sweet in his eyes. This is the connection of giving Chanukah money to our children.
Educating a child is a huge responsibility. Even though providing incentives for good behavior and learning is encouraged, we have to be careful that the gift or the incentive we provide does not overshadow the deed. That means that we do not give our child $100.00 for learning a few pesukim.
It is a very Jewish concept to increase your joy and to celebrate during festive chagim. Chanukah is certainly one of those festive holidays. We emphasize our joy by sharing Chanukah meals with our friends and family, by decorating our homes with the candles of our Menorah’s, and by celebrating with songs. We also emphasize our joy by sharing the story of Chanukah in order to deepen our understanding of this holiday and the meaning that it brings to our lives. This is the essence of Chanukah.
The Latkes, the Dreidels and the food are all fun – but they are not the essence. These items are just the extras. It is possible, however, to highlight the meaning of Chanukah by giving certain types of gifts to your children.
For example: giving your kids books, CD’s or videos about the story of Chanukah, so they understand what it is we are celebrating is recommended. Talking to them about the concept of the triumph of light over darkness is another powerful theme of the Chanukah story that you could speak to them about.
You could ask them to create something that brings “light” to a dark place. Why not make a project and then take that project and bring it to a hospital and brighten up someone’s day? You could ask your kids to invite a few kids from their class that they know could use a spiritual boost and you could share your table with those kids. Since every day of Chanukah we increase in light, we can teach our children to increase in their work of spreading light as well, and each day of Chanukah to do some act of chesed.
There is no limit to the creativity factor here, and I am certain your kids can offer some wonderful ideas as well. If we expect our children to really get into the spirit and meaning of Chanukah, we have to provide them with the opportunity and the tools. Now is the time for you to brush up on your knowledge of Chanukah and explore some of its deeper teachings, so that you can pass that along to your kids. It is all right to give gifts on Chanukah, as long as they are given with the purpose of drawing a child close to his or her roots, and then the act of giving speaks louder than the gift itself.
